We are now a month into the fight for our daughters life. Sadly to say, I don’t know if I have ever really felt the sting of cancer until now. I have been naive and way too comfortable, well, not any more! I have been thinking through some of the depths of this new perspective’s impact on my life and I have come to a conclusion, I HATE CANCER, I REALLY, REALLY HATE IT! A-LOT!!!
However, this hatred has been stirring other passions, healthy ones, in me that may have been a little calloused or just lagging behind where they should be. So, I am going to attempt to write a series of posts that detail some of these shifts, which hopefully will transform to become part of the fiber of my faith. I am also being fed through various songs of worship these days, so I plan to let you in on my times with God by connecting the Scripture, to songs of worship, and then to my prayers…
My hatred of cancer is creating within me a deeper yearning for heaven. We have been dropped into the midst of pain, we are surrounded by it tonight. We are wrestling with our own pain, the pain of the poor girl 3 feet away in another bed, and the agony of room after room on this floor. It is easy to get caught in a trap of despair when you have lived in this environment for almost 4 whole weeks, day after day, night after night.
However, there is coming a day, and the hope of that day brings hope into my present situation so I now echo the lyrics from this verse:
In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there’s a greater day
There’s a hope that never fails
Revelation 21:3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
So my prayer is ‘God, give me a glimpse of that day, fill me with the hope of heaven! Let me remember that you make all things new, and suffering will one day be abolished. Also, help me to trust you in the midst of sorrow, and be drawn close to you, experiencing you more intimately and loving you more passionately. I yearn to see you face to face!’
(just the audio version)