As I said in my previous post, cancer sort of changes your perspective! Frankly, it radically shifts you, every aspect of you.When it is your child who is facing his monster, I think there are a host of unique challenges you face. As a parent your desire is to protect & provide. We have always been the ones responsible for our daughters well-being, and yet now, we find ourselves desperately helpless in many, many ways. If there was something we could do to take this away from Kate, or to make it all go away right now we would do anything.
Contrast our parenting through this time with that of God, the Father, in His sending Jesus as a demonstration of His infinite love. God, did not spare His Son, He offered Jesus as a sacrifice! God knew that the cost of Jesus’ comfort was worth the salvation humanity would experience through His death and resurrection. So the Father displayed His love, and here is how He did it…
1 John 4:9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
The Father’s love for us is higher, deeper, wider than anything we can ever experience here on earth. His love is costly, and comes at a high price to Him. Sometimes I try to justify my thoughts and feelings in this turmoil based solely on my love for Kate, and it is (t)rue love. However, (T)rue Love, the love that God has shown, is real love and we can all be assured that God’s love is not measured by circumstances, or the situations we find ourselves in. His love is most clearly understood, when viewed as a Father who sent His Son to DIE for us!
So now I am praying that God would continue to allow me to more genuinely value His great love for us. I am worshiping Him today and these lyrics are part of my prayer. May we all come close to God today and hear, I mean really listen, and hear the story of the Father’s love!
“Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us”
Phil Wickam “True Love”
AARON MCRAE -blog- 
Amen. I’m honored to pray for your family.
I’m humbled and encouraged by how your heart is correctly oriented toward the Father and His glory during this unfathomable time in your life. My family and I continue to lift you, Holly, Kate, and your other children in prayer.
I am fully convinced that God uses our trials to draw us closer to Himself.
As I pray for Kate’s healing, I also pray that God will hold you and your family close to His heart, and that He will grow your faith through the storm.
I like the way you see things. Thank you so much for your honesty. We deal with ongoing medical issues with our daughter; it is so encouraging to see you all being so honest and unafraid to proclaim the gospel – even when it hurts.
I was reading your post back in April…..
(Ephesians 6: 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
I was amazed and challenged by the simplicity, yet depth of the questions raised. Most of all, I loved the honest exploration into faith, the curiosity of one who just wanted to know and experience this ‘Father in Heaven’. Too many times we miss the wonder of searching for God, in our attempts to get through the day we forget to ‘think’ deeply. We all, no doubt, have questions, even good questions, but our thirst for answers is too easily quenched.
I pray that God would place in me a holy hunger for Him alone. I pray that God would be seen as One who is both near & far; majestic & intimate. May our souls thirst for truth and not be satisfied until we find Him. Our good questions lead us to a GREAT God!) Above was quoted from you….. So true!
Sometimes we don’t understand things at all but God will help us through the hard times and through the things we don’t understand.
I am praying so much for your family. For Kate!! I don’t know you guys but we are connected by our faith and we also have 3 kids 2 girls then a boy. Take care and know that many are praying for you and be encouraged by your old post…. put on God Armor!
Keep on Blogging…. Great stuff
Melissa Babasin
Roseville Ca
Aaron
Your heart reveals the love you have for God….and the faith you are clinging to. I am inspired!
This past year, cancer has robbed me of two very special people. I hate it, too! Your description and cries are so on target. Thanks for saying it!
I feel the same as you.
I am so sorry that it’s happening in your family. I am gladly praying for Kate (and the whole family) everyday. This is a season…..you will pass through. I like that “he’s refining us as gold” scripture from the Psalms. It’s just no fun when that refining is so painful!
Hang in there…keep writing! And know people everywhere are fighting this battle with you.
I have followed your story at the Caringbridge site and just found your blog…..
Isn’t it cool that Jesus knows exactly…EXACTLY!!….the pain and troubles that are visited upon us during our stay here? And because He knows them (only too well…He paid the price for them) He is a real and present comfort as we walk through the fire!
We are not alone!! I think the essential desire of the human heart is to not be alone. People go to some pretty lengths just so they won’t be alone….and all the while, the GOD that created them and loves them so much is right there waiting to be thier closest friend!
You and your family are not alone Aaron! You are all lifted up in prayer everyday, all around the world, thousands of times a day! And most importantly, our Redeemer Lives and is right here beside you in this fire……just like the 3 boys in the fiery furnace!
Be strong my Brother! GOD is in command!
Love in Christ,
Joe
A dear friend struggled with cancer several years ago. She wrote a book ‘Cancer, my Enemy, my Friend.’ She rejoiced in her Spiritual growth, in her learning many faith lessons, learning to be a peace. She regretted knowing she would not be here for so many events in her children’s lives. Cancer was her friend, her enemy. Her testimony lives on in that book that they still share with patients on the oncology floor.
Thank you for posting your blog…. there is much to learn from your unwavering faith!
I have been praying like mad for your Kate. Every time I read an update over at your Caringbridge journal, it’s like I can feel the pain through your thoughts. And you are right, God makes all things new again. I am believing in complete healing for Kate. God bless you and Holly and your family during this very difficult time.
Stacy
I received a prayer request from my daughter-in-law today… it is to pray for you all. I’ve read Kate’s Caring Bridge site and my prayers go out to you. Please check out this accapella group singing Storm on YouTube. They visited Regions hospital in St. Paul and they came to our bedside to sing this song…what a blessing it was to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXpDvez1Ydo
I have been reading your Caringbridge posts religiously and I pray for you, your daughter and your family daily. May God bless you. You have an incredible heart and you are bringing complete strangers to tears with your faith.
Aaron, your blog has so touched my heart. When I can’t find the words to comfort you all during this time, it is YOU that in turn is speaking words of comfort to me… You continue to minister to me from afar, my friend. Thank you for opening up your heart and share your pain for the world to see God is still on His Throne!
Love you all ~ Vickie White
Hello Aaron,
I have been reading about Kate under caring bridge. I am so sorry that your precious gift from God is having to go through all of this as I am sorry that your family is going through this. I hate cancer too!! It is an ugly beast that claims many good lives each day. I am 46 years old with two gifts from God, a son age 18 and daughter age 15. I was diagnosed with stage IV cancer in may 0f 2007. My cancer had spread to my liver and lungs. I have been in chemotherapy for over two years. Before cancer, when I was placed in a bad circumstance I would always say to myself it could be worse and would think of a situation that was far worse than the one I was in to help me press on. When I found out I had cancer I thought it could be worse, it could be one of my children. So, I am so sorry. I know what it is like to have cancer and go through the treatments and be faced with uncertianty everyday but I have no idea what it would be like to be told your child has this dreaded disease and to watch her suffer. As you are aware and confim with your posts you and your family lives have forever changed. I to long for heaven. I am not ready to die or give up but I think about heaven more than ever these days. I have prayed that God would give me a glimpse of heaven in my dreams. I am writing to give you some of my favorite scriptures that help me when I am anxious: (1) My comfort in my suffering is this:
your promise renews my life
Psalm 119:50
(2) The righteous cry out, and the Lord
hears them; and delivers them
from all their troubles. The Lord is
close to the broken hearted and
saves those who are crushed in
spirit
Psalm 34: 17-18
(3) And the peace of God which
transcends all understanding, will
guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus
Philippians 4:7
(4) For he will command his angels
concerning you to guard you in all
your ways
Psalm 91:11
(5) I consider that our present
sufferings are not worth
comparing with the glory that
will be revealed in us
Romans 8:18
(6) He will cover you with his
feathers, and under his wings
you will find refuge; his
faithfulness will be your shield
and rampart
Psalm 91:4
(7) I will not leave you as orphans,
I will come to you
John 14:18
(8) But I will restore you to your
health and heal your wounds,
declares the Lord
Psalm 30:17
(9) Be still and know that I am God
Psalm 41:10
I will continue to pray for you and your family. Your faith has touched me and I know that you are touching many lives. Many people will seek God because of your faithfulness. We do not understand Gods ways but we do know that God has a plan.
May God bless you,
Shelli
Dear Aaron and family,
I’ve been following your journey and I want you to know I’m praying for your beautiful daughter daily now.
My son is a brain tumor suvivor!
There is so much HOPE.
I remember being where you are at now. Please know God’s grace is truly sufficient. One day at a time…
I don’t know if you’ve read this already, but here is link to John Piper’s “Don’t Waste Your Cancer”.
http://www.crosswalk.com:80/1383847/
As difficult and painful our journey was, looking back now, I would never trade a day of what God taught us, and how He met us each step of the way.
We also learned so much about the Father’s love, His faithfulness, and His provision.
I pray you will also experience this and more with all you go through.
He is there…
Keep holding on to your HOPE,
Susan
Praying for sweet Kate…. I thought of this article from my pastor – may there be some encouragement in the midst of great suffering:
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2006/1776_Dont_Waste_Your_Cancer/
In Christ,
Annette Pare
Mpls, MN
Such a beautiful way of saying you love Christ. He is so strong and powerful and mighty, He is watching over you and your family. How wonderful is God? How awesome is He? He is so loving and caring!! I can’t ever get enough of Him & how He handles such situations. Ya’ll are always on my mind and in my prayers! Keep the faith! P.U.S.H Push Until Something Happens!!!
Jo & KC
Some other blog friends have your blog posted in their prayer lists. Ever since reading this blog- my husband and I have began praying for your little girl Kate. She is absolutely beautiful! We are humlbed by your love and faithfulness that Christ is in control in this situation. We will continue to keep Kate on our prayer lists (personal and bible study lists). We will continue to pray for your wife and you as well, may you two stay strong pillars of faith and strength for your daughter!!
Your Friends in Christ-
Nate and Kate Burt
My son has a lower grade brain tumor but has recently relapsed after 3 years of stable scans. He did chemo and whole brain/spine radiation the first time around and has just started chemo again. I have been struggling with the “fairness” of it all. In church this past Sunday, I came across Hebrews 11. It reminded me strongly that our reward is in Heaven, not here on earth. Will I do hope and pray that Isaac has a long life, it is a reminder that I needed. Just thought I’d pass it a long.
I am rpaying for Kate and I hope things continue to get better for her even as she is in the midst of the battle she is in.
With hope,
Karen, Isaac’s Mom
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/isaachatfield
http://www.teamunite.net Help fight childhood cancer!
HAVING “MY OWN” KATIE, MY HEART IS HEAVY FOR YOURS… PLEASE KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN AND AM PRAYING FOR YOUR SWEET BABY GIRL. GOD IS FAITHFUL, IN ALL THINGS. AT ALL TIMES.
HUGS FROM MAINE
“The silence of God means that He is ready to bring into my life a greater revelation of Himself than I have ever known.’ Henry Blackaby Experiencing God p.94”
I just found your blog through a blog post on another blog called “His Will Wednesday’s” with a link and request for prayer for your daughter, and that’s how I am here.
She is just precious and is a beauty. I was watching the video of her, and something about her reminds me of my daughter in her sweet expressions. She will be close to my heart, and I will be remembering you all in prayer.
I visited back through your blog, and read a post that had the above quote and references to the silence you couldn’t figure out.
God is SO AMAZING! He will take care of you, your precious daughter, and family, and all of us because He loves us so majestically.
Blessings, and heartfelt prayers,
amanda MB,SC
I pray this devotion may encourage you today:
Night of Pure Faith”Lo, a horror of great darkness fell upon him” (Gen. 15:12).The sun at last went down, and the swift, eastern night cast its heavy veil over the scene. Worn out with the mental conflict, the watchings, and the exertions of the day, Abraham fell into a deep sleep, and in that sleep is soul was oppressed with a dense and dreadful darkness, such as almost stifled him, and lay like a nightmare upon his heart. Do you understand something of the horror of that darkness? When some terrible sorrow which seems so hard to reconcile with perfect love, crushes down upon the soul, wringing from it all its peaceful rest in the pitifulness of God, and launching it on a sea unlit by a ray of hope; when unkindness, and cruelty maltreat the trusting heart, till it begins to doubt whether there be a God overhead who can see and still permit–these know something of the “horror of great darkness.” It is thus that human life is made up; rightness and gloom; shadow and sun; long tracks of cloud, succeeded by brilliant glints of light, and amid all Divine justice is working out its own schemes, affecting others equally with the individual soul which seems the subject of special discipline. O ye who are filled with the horror of great darkness because of God’s dealings with mankind, learn to trust that infallible wisdom, which is co-assessor with immutable justice; and know that He who passed through the horror of the darkness of Calvary, with the cry of forsakenness, is ready to bear you company through the valley of the shadow of death till you see the sun shining upon its further side. Let us, by our Forerunner, send forward our anchor, Hope, within the veil that parts us from the unseen; where it will grapple in ground and will not yield, but hold until the day dawns, and we follow it into the haven guaranteed to us by God’s immutable counsel. –F. B. MeyerThe disciples thought that that angry sea separated them from Jesus. Nay, some of them thought worse than that; they thought that the trouble that had come upon them was a sign that Jesus had forgotten all about them, and did not care for them. Oh, dear friend, that is when troubles have a sting, when the devil whispers, “God has forgotten you; God has forsaken you”; when your unbelieving heart cries as Gideon cried, “If the Lord be with us, why then is all this befallen us?” The evil has come upon you to bring the Lord nearer to you. The evil has not come upon you to separate you from Jesus, but to make you cling to Him more faithfully, more tenaciously, more simply. –F. S. Webster, M.A.Never should we so abandon ourselves to God as when He seems to have abandoned us. Let us enjoy light and consolation when it is His pleasure to give it to us, but let us not attach ourselves to His gifts, but to Himself; and when He plunges us into the night of pure faith, let us still press on through the agonizing darkness. Oh, for faith that brings the triumph When defeat seems strangely near! Oh, for faith that brings the triumph Into victory’s ringing cheer– Faith triumphant; knowing not defeat or fear. –Herbert Booth