hating cancer is making me plunge deeper into the Gospel of Jesus

He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.
(verse 2, I Stand Amazed in the Presence)

As I write this, I sit beside the hospital bed of my napping daughter who is wearing a t-shirt that reads, “God is SO MUCH BIGGER than pediatric cancer!” That is our life now, the sorrow we bear. So when I sing and proclaim a song that says ‘he took… my sorrows, he made them his very own’ the words have more significance than at any other point in my life so far. However, there is also a realization in times like these that as far as diseases go cancer is the least of humanity’s concern in comparison to sin!

I am comforted to know that Jesus is with us in our sorrows, I really am, I can’t tell you what a sense of help that brings. With us in sorrow is huge, but I am eternally indebted and in awe at the reality that Jesus ‘took my sins’. In days like these when life is overwhelming and out of control you realize how absolutely powerless we are against some aspects of life. There is absolutely nothing I can physically do to take away Kate’s tumor, I am in a sense powerless to help. How much more powerless are we then as sinners coming to a holy God, but hope is not lost. Here is how the story goes…

Romans 5: 6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Hating cancer is making me more fully awake to my desperate need for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I have no other hope! I have heard this kind of talk all my life, but desperate times have a clarifying effect, helping you receive truth more deeply.  Some have said that we all have a need to continually keep preaching the gospel to ourselves, over and over again returning to the point of our need and His supply. I absolutely agree and pray that Jesus’ life will be our life, and His sacrifice our story of salvation.

We are struggling through this time and we are often weak and wavering. Don’t ever read these words and think that there is not a fight to keep holding on to these truths. One of the main reasons I keep typing away is to remind myself and bring perspective back to me, as I go through dark days that can cloud all judgment. I pray that God’s Spirit will continually plunge us deeper into the wonderful, marvelous Gospel of Jesus Christ.

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11 thoughts on “hating cancer is making me plunge deeper into the Gospel of Jesus

  1. Aaron, your posts about a greater hunger & thirst for truth touch me..great perspective..I know your family is in a battle..following on carepages..know I am praying for all 5 of you brother!

  2. your thoughts and words are so full of truth and hope…thank you for showing the world how to cling to Jesus even in your darkest days. I wanted to share this series with others so I’ve linked to your blog, I hope you don’t mind. Praying for all 5 of you…and for God’s complete healing in your precious little Kate.

  3. I just wanted to send you a note to let you know that I am praying for your precious daughter, Kate, as well as the rest of your family as you endure this trial. I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this, but I am so proud of you for how you are pressing into Jesus, even when your hearts become so weak. I heard this song on the radio the other day and thought of you all:

    It’s called “You’re Not Shaken” and I thought that was such an amazing Truth to remind ourselves of, and that I wanted to encourage you to daily remind yourself 0f – God is not shaken by this, He is your rock, the one you can cling to. You do not have to be the strong one….He does….and He is.

    Prayers,
    Debi in Kansas City

  4. Aaron-I read that someone said they were wearing their pink P4K bracelets. My friend and I would love to buy one! Can you give me any information?
    I pray daily for you and your sweet family,
    Dawn Eshnaur
    Siloam Springs, AR

  5. You don’t know us – we are friends with Brian & Promise. We want you to know that we are praying for you precious Kate. We are praying earnestly for God’s healing touch on her life. We are praying for God to give you extreme amounts of grace, strength, power, trust, and belief. We are holding you up and will continue to pray. Your authenticity and honesty are profound, deep, and a beautiful image of the Father.

    Blessings & Prayers –
    Jarrett & Jeanne Stevens

  6. You guys are a true testimony to what it means and what it looks like to ‘fight the good fight’ of faith. You don’t know us, but we have been following your caringbridge website since your first posting and now your blog. We feel the burden (and honor) of praying for your precious daughter as if you all are one of our very own flesh and blood relatives. Thank you for being a light as you journey through this dark trial… We are praying for Kate and the rest of your family daily (throughout the day).

    John, Natalie, JT & Hudson McLaughlin
    Lewisville, Texas

  7. Hi Aaron, my family and I lived the life you are now living. I know every feeling you are going through. My nephew Austin passed away from cancer in 2001….he was almost 2. I tried to look at the video of little Kate…she is beautiful! I was able to look just a little while, but was painfully reminded of Austin. I will pray for Kate and your family. I want you to know though that there is good news to my story!! I became a Songwriter because of Austin..I recorded a CD in Nashville because of Austin. (I am starting to cry..:( I am giving portions of proceeds from CD sales to a Hospice program for kids with life-threatening illness, called Essential Care…in memory of Austin…I never planned on being a Songwriter. I passed by Austin’s picture and said out loud, “I can almost feel your touch when you look at me”. It was that moment that I grabbed a pen and paper as the words and melody came to me. I never stopped writing since…Austin left me a wonderful gift to share with the world. He couldn’t say too many words because he was so young, but now I could be his voice…and try to make a difference for children dealing with pediatric cancer and other illnesses. Please visit my website for the whole story….lisabarrettcd.com. Aaron….take one day at a time. Enjoy every moment…but please try to take care of yourselves, as I know how difficult your days are. I would be happy to talk with you, and so would my sister Gail (Austin’s mom). You can send an email through my website…and we can talk…God bless all of you!!!

  8. Aaron,

    My children would like to send pictures to Kate. I know she is coming home soon. Do we send things to the hospital listed on the CaringBridge site or is there another address?

    We pray for you daily. Our five year old daughter, Rilla, prays especially hard for this little “friend” in another place that is her same age.

    The Gortons in Ohio
    Psalm 139

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